Sort of like a first post....but not putting a label on anything right now.

Is this having a website? Is what I’m doing right now, does it count as having a web site? I’m inclined to think that no it doesn’t. And that’s OK! I don’t want to have a website, sorry to be abrasively revolutionary right off the bat.

I have wanted to have a substack ever since I started kind of knowing what substack is six weeks ago. Do I now fully know what substack is? No! Absolutely not and I never ever claimed to be that girl. And that’s OK! What I do know is They’ve provided me with this white box to type words into and so I am sitting on a sectional sofa in my apartment on, yes, the Bushwick/Ridgewood border, and trying to do this one step at a time. Like Demi Lovato, I haven’t figured everything out yet and I’m just taking this day by day and I may even get a queer haircut for once.

What I think substack is, is a blog—but not in an embarrassing way. I’ve heard the term “newsletter” bandied about but I’m not quite ready for that language. Calling it a “substack” feels safe. It saves my family the public disgrace of identifying as a blogger, while steering clear of the vaguely dysphoric syntax that “newsletter” conjures. Does calling it a substack make sense? Is substack a noun? I don’t think we’ve collectively decided that yet. It’s nebulous, it’s new, it’s now, I’m a pioneer. There are simply no rules when it comes to this thing we call “having a substack.” And that’s incredibly empowering.

Anyways I actually have been trying to be medium funny this whole time and I just want to come clean about that now and hold space. My point is that this is, in it’s own weird way, my first post. Eventually this will be an e-mail? If you sign up? IDK! I’m going to do my first real real REAL post later this week.

OK so this is going to sort of be the end now. I guess what you might want to know if you, due to deep self hatred, have read to this point, is that I think I will write weekly posts in a sort of chic diaristic way about whatever I’m thinking about. I also will likely discuss the artform called Reality Television. Some posts maybe will be more polished and essay-y, while others will be more unhinged like how this one is. I hope that one day I will monetize it but not yet. OK that’s all for now this has been a really good post I think.